Yesterday on Facebook I posted this meme:
Today a well meaning friend on my Facebook advise me that the term “fair sex” in relation to women is offensive. I said that in this context I didn’t find it offensive and most contexts I don’t. I then stated that I find it more degrading that women fight so hard for something that objectifies them and causes death, cancer and blood clots.
He ignored everything and again stated that no, fair sex is sexist to all women.
And I was truly flabbergasted. Not that he said anything really offensive, or because he ignored the entire point of the post or raising awareness to Natural Family Planning (NFP) during NFP Awareness week, I was shocked that a man could tell me that I should be offended by a term he deemed as sexist. That a man could tell me (a woman) what I should feel.
Because he is one of the progressives, the feminists, the one who value equality, equal rights and the opinion of others. And it again cemented why I can’t consider myself a feminist.
I can’t consider myself a feminist because I can think for myself and have my opinions.
I can’t consider myself a feminist because I believe that women are my equals, my sisters and not my competition.
I can’t consider myself a feminist because I can’t support the the killing of unborn children in the name of my empowerment.
I can’t consider myself a feminist because the wage gap scandal? It’s a lie.
I can’t support feminism because I do not believe that free, legal, birth control and abortion on demand are more important that the plight of women around the world who are being raped, trafficked and kidnapped.
I can’t support anything that the puts the value of self over the value of others. And that is what feminism does.
I was raised in an environment where I was treated no differently than my brother, where my dad didn’t do much housework because he was the sole wage earner and my mother stayed at home. In this environment I was never taught that a women’s responsibility was to be in the home, I was taught that I could do what ever I wanted and be whoever I wanted to be. I was taught that men and women were equal, and that working outside the home or being a stay at home mom were both stressful, fulfilling and worthy decisions.
But then, a few years ago after I got over my whole “I never want children” thing, and I realised that, at the age of 24, I wanted nothing more to be a wife and mother and have lots of children. I kept this to myself, however, because I had learned in university that being a stay at home mom was not worthy. It was something to want or to desire. Women are more than mothers.
I told my aunt I wanted to be a stay at home mom, and she said, “you could accomplish so much more than that”.
Feminism is not about equality, no matter what the dictionary says. Feminism in the 21st century is about the value of self above all. Feminism is about competition and one upping women. Feminism is above valuing all the thing things that make women, women. Feminism is about smashing an invisible patriarchy and rising above men. Not equality.
Modern 21st century Feminism, in all the collective power and call to action, can never manage more than hashtag outrage against the plights of women in developing world, but they can cause a stink and a stir if you try to take away their birth control or abortion.
They tell you to think for yourself, and then shame you if you disagree. The vitriol that spews from the comments that I’ve seen on the internet and heard in real life is atrocious. They tell you what to think, and then beat you into submission if you try to tell them they are wrong.
Feminism is not a term I can comfortably associate with because feminist action often disagrees with the definition of what they claim to be.
I don’t believe that men are the enemy.
I don’t believe I am a victim because I am a woman.
I don’t believe that I am oppressed because I am a woman.
I don’t believe women are the competition or the enemy.
I don’t believe than anyone has the power to tell me what to think.
I am not scared of my ability to make children or having a child depend on me.
Modern 21st century feminism has sown nothing but seeds of mistrust and anger sown with the blood of children aborted for the cause.
If they were throwing their power to actually change the world and fight for equality, real equality that isn’t based of contraception and abortion, instead of squabbling for freebies, then, maybe, I could consider myself a feminist.